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Maybe you’re feeling stuck, caught in the same old negative patterns, repeating them over and over.Or perhaps you’re scrolling through all those smiling faces on Instagram, feeling like something’s deeply wrong with who you are or where you’re at.

As I always say, when nothing changes, nothing changes.

The reason it’s so damn hard to fix this feeling? Honestly, making real change in our lives is hard AF.

But if you wake up tomorrow, think the same thoughts, and do the same things you’ve always done, you’d better believe you’re going to keep living the exact same life.

If you’re ready for something more though, then you can take action starting right now to change all of that.

While there are so many ways to do this, I wanted to create a quick guide to get you off on the right foot.

Let’s dive in.

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10 Easy Steps To Get Started

Step #1: Manage Your Thoughts

The number one tool that has changed my life so drastically was learning how to self-coach and manage my own thoughts.

Thoughts really are where everything begins! If you’re having low-grade, straight-up shitty thoughts about yourself, you’d better believe that translates into your energy, actions, confidence, and results. Most of the world has a very passive relationship with our thoughts. We don’t realize that negative soundtrack in our mind really is ours to heal and shift.

When you figure out how to do this, you stop being a helpless victim, ping-ponging your way through life.

Here’s how that usually goes:

• Something “bad” or unexpected happens.
• You get angry or upset.
• You try to control that situation or person. (Or you rant about this injustice to anyone who will listen for the next month.)
• You hope it won’t happen again, and start to feel better.
• It happens again (or something else happens) and you go right back to feeling angry or upset.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat forever!

Fortunately, life does not have to be this way. When you learn how to stop being so reactive, that’s when you get real control over your reality.

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Step #2: Throw Out Your To-Do List

Sound crazy? Not at all, my friend! In fact, discovering this tip is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.

Here’s the thing with the To-Do List: it has the potential to just keep growing. You can keep adding to it while crossing off a thing here or there. That optical illusion can make you feel deeply behind and unaccomplished.

And if you’re at all like me, cue the internal freak-out about just not being productive enough, despite the fact I’m working all the time and exhausted.

What works instead? Planning out your week! Yup, exchange your To-Do list for your planner. This sounds weird at first but it really does work and here’s the magical reason why:

Once you plan out what you have to do, all you have to do is (you know!) actually show up and do what you need to.

No more deliberating about what task is more important. No more losing track of time and spending hours on something that’s not important. You just do what you need to do and it all gets done.

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Step #3: Regularly Set Your Goals (& Notice When You’re Not Achieving Them)

Are you a regular goal-setter? Truth is, as much as I’m all about that life today, that wasn’t always the case.

I definitely did not always think of myself as a magical being capable of incredible things! In fact, I spent a lot of life playing the wallflower—and that translated over to what I even thought was possible for myself.

I set goals for work, but also in my personal life. One thing I like to do is set new intentions for every new moon. Then I have 28 days to see what comes up and notice what isn’t working so I can do it all over again.

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Step #4: Draw Those Boundaries

Creating a life you’re wildly obsessed with isn’t just about adding in juicy new stuff (like the sexy man, stacked wardrobe, etc.).

It’s also about removing what’s not working.

This is a big one. Think about what or who drains your energy. It could be demanding relationships, overwhelming commitments, or even social media feeds that leave you feeling inadequate. Drawing clear boundaries means consciously removing or minimizing these elements from your life. It’s an act of self-preservation and a profound expression of self-respect.

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Step #5. Cultivate Your Sacred Space

Your physical environment is a powerful mirror of your internal state. Take time to declutter and organize your living space. Release items that don’t bring you joy or serve a purpose. This isn’t just about tidiness; it’s about honoring yourself and creating a harmonious backdrop for your life. A clear space often leads to a clearer mind.

Step #6. Digital Detox

Unsubscribe, Delete, Block. Our digital lives can quickly become cluttered with noise. Go through your subscriptions, social media feeds, and digital connections. Unsubscribe from newsletters that no longer resonate. Delete apps that are time-sinks or sources of negativity. Block accounts that don’t uplift or inspire you. Curate your digital world to support your well-being.

Step #7. Practice Daily Gratitude

It’s easy to focus on what we lack but a consistent gratitude practice can profoundly shift your perspective. Each day, take a few moments to acknowledge things you’re grateful for—big or small. This simple act rewires your brain to see abundance, fostering contentment and reducing feelings of inadequacy.

Step #8. Build Your Village Wisely

No one person can be everything to you and that’s okay. Instead of putting all your relational eggs in one basket, focus on building a diverse support system. Cultivate different friendships and relationships that fulfill various needs: a confidante for deep talks, a joyful friend for adventures, a mentor for guidance. Surround yourself with people who truly uplift you.

Step #9. Embrace What You Can’t Control

Life often throws curveballs. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is stop resisting reality. Accept situations you cannot change, and focus on managing your reactions to them. Releasing old grievances and letting go of the past frees up immense energy you can then.

Step #10. Indulge in Joyful Moments

Self-love isn’t always about grand gestures. It’s also in the small, seemingly insignificant moments of pleasure. Splurge on that coffee, buy those flowers, take an extra long bath. Challenge the belief that joy must always be “earned.”

Allowing yourself these little luxuries is a powerful way to nourish your soul and remind yourself that you are worthy of delight.

Remember, deep lasting change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey of consistent commitment, self-compassion, and showing up for yourself, day after day. Be patient with your process, and celebrate every step forward. You’ve got this.