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You know, something really interesting happened to me recently that completely flipped my understanding of identity and how we make lasting changes in our lives. It boils down to this:

Your actions don’t follow your identity; your identity follows your actions.

Let me paint a picture for you, and I’m sure many of you can relate. Imagine someone who decides they want to become healthy. They go all in, right? They buy the expensive gym equipment, tell everyone about their new “healthy lifestyle,” and even stock up on the perfect workout clothes.

What typically happens? Three weeks later, it’s often back to old habits.

This brings up a fascinating question: Why does this happen?

What I’ve discovered is that they tried to change their identity first. They tried to force it. But here’s the crucial bit: identity just doesn’t work that way.

Think of your brain like a meticulous detective. It’s constantly watching what you do, not just what you say or intend. Every tiny action sends a signal: “This is who I am.”

• Do something once? Your brain sees it as a fluke.
• Do it twice? Now it starts to notice an interesting pattern.
• Do it three times? That’s when something magical happens. Your brain goes, “Oh, wait a minute… this must be part of who they are!”

The secret is to start microscopically small. So small it feels almost stupid.

If you want to become a reader, don’t declare, “I’ll read 50 books this year!” (I initially made that mistake!). Instead, just commit to reading one page every day. Just one.

Let me break down what actually happens in your brain when you do this – it’s pretty incredible:

1. Day 1: Your brain notices, “Interesting, we read today.”
2. Day 2: “Huh, we’re doing this again.”
3. Day 3: “Wait a minute… are we becoming a reader?”

This is what I call the Identity Loop in action, and honestly, it’s beautiful in its simplicity. Small, consistent signals reshape your self-image. This, in turn, makes those actions feel more natural, which then strengthens your self-image even more. No massive willpower needed, no grand declarations – just tiny, strategic actions that add up to massive change.

This works for any change you want to make. But there’s a catch: You have to start smaller than your ego wants to. Way smaller. Your ego screams for dramatic, overnight transformation. Your brain, however, whispers for quiet consistency. And in this battle, drawing from years of observation, the brain always wins.

Let’s dive deeper into how this works.

1: Your Amazing, Changeable Brain – Plasticity in Action

Your brain changes every single day. And the incredible part? You get to decide how it changes.

Think of your brain like a garden. Every thought you have, every action you take, every habit you repeat – they’re like creating trails in that garden. When you walk the same path over and over, it becomes clearer, wider, and easier to travel. (Trust me, the path to my coffee machine every morning is very well-worn!)

But here’s what’s even more interesting: your brain has no idea whether these paths lead to flowers or weeds. It just does what it’s designed to do: “Hey, we use this path a lot. Better make it stronger!” It’s kind of like how my brain automatically knows the route to my favourite coffee shop, even when maybe I should be heading to the gym instead.

Remember how we talked about tiny actions building identity? Well, this is exactly why it works. Every time you take that small action, you’re not just doing something; you’re literally rewiring your brain.

Those old patterns you have – limiting beliefs, habits you’re not proud of – they’re just well-trodden paths too. And here’s the good news: you can let them grow over. But, and this is really important, not by fighting them.

Instead, we’re going to build new paths.

When you try to actively “stop” a habit, your brain actually focuses on it even more. Quick experiment: Don’t think about pink elephants. What are you thinking about right now? Pink elephants, right? It gets us every time!

So, here’s what we do instead: Focus on building the new path.

• Want to stop checking your phone first thing in the morning? Don’t fight that urge (that just makes your brain think about your phone even more).
• Instead, build a new morning routine. Maybe it’s drinking a glass of water, stretching for two minutes, or taking three deep breaths – whatever works for you.

Every time you take that new path, something incredible happens. You’re not just creating a habit; you’re building new neural connections. And that old path? It starts to fade. Not because you fought it (fighting often strengthens it!), but because you simply stopped maintaining it. Kind of like how that old route to my previous job gradually faded from my mind once I started working from home.

This is the real secret to lasting change. You don’t have to wage war with your old self. You just have to consistently build new paths, one tiny step at a time. Your brain will do the rest. It’s literally designed for this!

(If you’re curious about how this has worked for you before, think about any habit you’ve successfully changed in the past. I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!)

2: Master Your Environment – Make Change Almost Automatic

Now that we understand how our brain creates and strengthens new pathways, let’s explore how to make this process virtually automatic through our environment.

The smartest way to change your life isn’t what most people think. Stop relying on motivation. Stop counting on willpower. Instead, let’s talk about something way more powerful: your environment.

Take a moment and look around your room right now. Everything you see is either pushing you towards your goals or pulling you away from them. You have complete control over this.

Think about water in nature – it always follows the path of least resistance, always flowing downhill. Your behaviour works exactly the same way. You naturally flow toward whatever’s easiest in your environment.

Here’s a practical example: Want to eat healthier? I used to think it was all about willpower, trying to resist those late-night cravings. But here’s what actually works: Don’t stock up on willpower; just stop buying junk food. Because let me tell you, at 10 p.m., when you’re tired and stressed, willpower is gone. But you know what still works? The fact that there’s no junk food in your house!

I call this the Friction Principle:

• Make good habits downhill (easy to do).
• Make bad habits uphill (harder to do).

Want to exercise more? Put your workout clothes right by your bed.

Want to stop mindless social media scrolling? Delete the apps, or make it take three extra steps to access them.

Remember how we talked about brain patterns? Your environment is basically a physical version of those patterns. Change the environment, and you automatically change the patterns. Studies show that people who keep a fruit bowl visible eat 70% more fruit! No willpower needed, no extra motivation required – just smart environmental design. It’s exactly what happened when I put a water bottle on my desk; suddenly, I was drinking way more water without even thinking about it.

Once you understand this, you can design success triggers everywhere:

• Want to read more? Put books on your coffee table (it’s what finally got me reading consistently!).
• Want to drink more water? Put water bottles at every spot you typically sit.

Your environment is like an invisible force field, always influencing your behaviour. Once you set it up right, it works 24/7, even when you’re tired, stressed, or completely unmotivated.

(I’d love to hear in the comments what environmental changes have worked for you, or what changes you’re planning to make after learning this!)

3: Your Energy is Your True Currency – Not Time

Even the most perfectly designed environment needs a power source. And that’s where most people miss something crucial. Everyone talks about time management, but there’s a vital truth they overlook: You can’t actually manage time. Time moves forward no matter what.

What you can manage is your energy.

Be honest: Have you ever had a day with plenty of free time but felt so drained you couldn’t do anything meaningful? Or the opposite, where you had just 30 minutes but were so energized you accomplished more than you usually do in three hours? (I see some of you nodding!)

Here’s what took me years to understand: Your energy isn’t just about being tired or awake. It’s your actual capacity to make changes, to learn, to grow, to push forward. Unlike time, which we can’t control, energy can be expanded.

Most people (and I was guilty of this too!) get this completely backwards. They try to squeeze more into their time, push harder, sleep less, work longer. But this always backfires.

Think of your energy like a battery that comes with a solar panel. Sure, you can drain it. But you can also recharge it. And even better, you can actually upgrade your battery’s capacity.

Your brain uses about 20% of your body’s energy, but during intense focus periods, that can jump up to 70%! This explains so much, doesn’t it? It’s why you feel mentally exhausted after learning something new – your brain is literally running a marathon.

Recovery isn’t just about “rest”; it’s about strategic renewal. Those moments when you think you’re doing nothing? Something incredible is happening: your brain is consolidating learning, replenishing energy, and building new neural pathways. Mind-blowing, isn’t it?

This completely transforms how we should plan our days. Instead of asking, “How can I fit more in?” (which I used to do all the time), ask yourself: “How can I match my tasks to my energy peaks?”

• Need to learn something new? Do it when your energy is highest.
• Want to be creative? Match it to when your mind is fresh.

It’s like surfing – you want to catch the wave at just the right moment.

Remember environmental design? Apply that same thinking to your energy:

• Design your day around your natural energy rhythms.
• Create renewal triggers.
• Build in recovery periods.

Because here’s what I’ve learned to be absolutely true: When you master your energy, time takes care of itself.

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I had planned to cover more today, but I believe in keeping these concepts digestible and actionable. If you’re finding value in these insights about brain optimization, identity, environment, and energy management, please let me know in the comments below! Your feedback will help me shape additional posts in this series.

Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in the next one!

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