You know those moments, right?
The ones where life just… happens.
A curveball out of nowhere, a sudden roadblock or a setback that leaves you feeling completely disoriented. Every single one of us has these moments.
It’s just the way life is . . . . But what truly matters is what we do in those moments.
For a significant chunk of my life I’d find myself completely flustered and utterly incapable when these moments hit.
It felt like I was perpetually playing catch-up, always reacting… never truly ready…
But over time through trial and error I believe I’ve started to figure out a few practical things that can help us all bounce back.
I’m sharing these with you today, truly hoping that you’ll find them as useful as I have. ☺️
1. Swap “Why Me?” for “What Next?”
Reclaim your power, one question at a time.
It’s completely natural. When things go sideways, one of our first, most gut-wrenching thoughts is often, “Why me?” We feel singled out, unfairly targeted by the universe.
But here’s the thing: “Why me?” is a weakening phrase. It only serves to deepen our feeling of victimhood, making us feel even more incapable of dealing with the situation at hand. It traps us in a cycle of self-pity.
By intentionally catching ourselves thinking “Why me?” and consciously replacing it with “What next?”, we achieve two powerful things. Not only do we immediately regain a sense of control over our circumstances, but we also shift our focus to finding practical solutions. We move from helpless to proactive.
2. Force Yourself to Practice Gratitude
Even in the shadows, there’s always a glimmer.
Let’s be real: it’s incredibly difficult to feel grateful when you’ve just been dealt a blow, no matter its size. When a major project at work unexpectedly went sideways, costing weeks of effort, I had to practically force myself to practice gratitude. Every fiber of my being wanted to despair.
But I persisted. Every time I talked to someone about it, I’d make myself say, “Well, at least we learned what not to do for next time.” I repeated it over and over. And something remarkable happened. After repeating it a few times, I actually started to believe it. I began to feel the gratitude for the lesson learned, even amidst the frustration. And that genuine feeling eventually helped me process and move forward with a clearer strategy.
No matter what you’re grappling with, big or small, there is always, always something to be grateful for. It might be hidden, it might be tiny, but it’s there. Force yourself to articulate it out loud a few times. Your heart and your mind, as if by magic, will soon catch up.
3. Quit Blaming
Let go of the past to embrace the present.
When you’re hurting, it’s equally natural to look for someone – or something – to blame. In my case, after that project went south, I was terribly tempted to blame myself, the client, a colleague, or a host of external factors. It felt like a release, a way to make sense of the pain.
But blame only serves to prolong the hurt. It makes it incredibly hard to let things go. It feeds anger, corrodes us from the inside out, and drags a thick cloud of negativity into our lives. It keeps us stuck.
So, just stop.
Sometimes, things just happen. That’s it. Deal with the situation as it is, and then, crucially, move on. Free yourself from the heavy burden of blame, and you’ll find a surprising lightness emerges.
4. Don’t Give In to Fear and Despair
Sometimes, you just have to fake it ’til you make it.
This one is tough. Oh, it’s so much easier to just give in, surrender to the overwhelming waves of fear and grief. To curl up and let them consume you. But we need to stand tall, even when we feel two feet too short.
It was incredibly hard for me to mask my worries and project an aura of confidence when facing a significant career setback. There were days I felt like a trembling mess inside. But I am so, so glad I did.
Back then, for a while, I’d actually started to wonder if something was fundamentally wrong with my trajectory. The foreboding fear that became my constant companion kept whispering that something bad was going on, that more failures were inevitable.
But slowly, by projecting confidence and maintaining a positive outlook, I began to attract new opportunities. My momentum shifted. And my worries? They started to fizzle.
When it comes to fear and despair, you truly have to fake it till you make it. And, sooner or later, I promise you, you will make it.
5. Never Give Up
One more try could be your breakthrough.
When that project initially failed, the idea of revisiting it felt pointless. We didn’t like the outcome. But we refused to accept it as the only path. We sought out another approach, even though it seemed like a long shot at the time.
We decided to break the problem down into smaller parts and tackle them one by one. We set ambitious but achievable mini-goals, and my team, bless their souls (they were such sports!), diligently worked through the challenges.
After just a few weeks, we started seeing progress. Things are beginning to look genuinely good for a successful relaunch. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll achieve an even better outcome than originally planned. We can only hope for the best, and we are filled with it.
No matter where you’re at or what challenge you’re navigating, don’t give up. Try just one more thing. It might be the very thing that resolves it for you, the key you hadn’t found yet.
Remember the age-old wisdom: It ain’t over, until it’s over.
As I type this article, I’m looking at my updated project timeline, seeing the progress unfold.
And then I get a notification – a green checkmark next to a task I’ve been struggling with. I catch my breath, and a smile spreads across my face. It’s a small win, but it means everything.
Yes. I think we’re indeed okay. And so are you.
“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.”
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